i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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