moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
