How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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