alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
