Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
