lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
