No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
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and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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