idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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