drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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