I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
