I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
