As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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