There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
