omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
