i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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