why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize