Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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