haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
