In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
