There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Randomize
