There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
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Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
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I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize