Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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