That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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