We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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