There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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