Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
