k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
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Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
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Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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