if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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