I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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