I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize