I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
