and i looked up. we had an audience...
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
