me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
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I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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