On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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