Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
