No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
