is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
