it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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