I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
there's paper in my vomit.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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