You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
