I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
