your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
