thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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