That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
