1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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