I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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