similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
