I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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