Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
