he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
