Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You need a sexual gate keeper
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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