he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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