roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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