i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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