yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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