Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
