I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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