good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
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