I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
