Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
