How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
So many bounce houses so little time
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
