Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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