Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
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You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The air was thick with penises
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
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