why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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